He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
