nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
She bit a glass in half.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
