census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
