smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
