How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
