He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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