I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
