birth control should be required to get into college
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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