it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
