Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
