help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
