I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
