what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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