Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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