i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
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