can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
