Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
How external is "for external use only"?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
