and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
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