Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
