that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
