Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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