he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
