I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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