I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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