Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
it was like having sex with a tree stump
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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