He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
ok first of all what the fuck
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
