you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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