i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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