Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
