dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
