How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
