google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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