Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
