Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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