this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
