he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize