I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
