Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
