i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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