Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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