Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
