Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
