If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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