I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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