oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
