so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
