come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
