her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
