My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
