No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
